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H/D Big Bang: Erised Live
Reduxed, Recharged, Reloaded: Rennervate!
FIC: Paradox by kerfuffling (R) 
24th-May-2011 12:17 pm
Title: Paradox
Author: kerfuffling
Pairings and Main Characters: Harry/Draco, Hermione, Ron, Nott, Crabbe, Goyle
Summary: Thanks to a clever bit of magic and the help of an old acquaintance, Draco is given the chance to relive his years at Hogwarts with the knowledge of what exactly is in store for the future. However, when things tumble out of Draco's grasp, he finds himself losing his memories of the life he's already led as everything takes a startling turn away from what he'd always assumed to be his destiny.
Rating: R
Word Count: 86,000
Warnings: Character Deaths (not Harry or Draco), Dub-con, Time Turner, Torture, Violence
Genre: Action/Adventure, Magical Alternate Reality, Angst, Drama
Canon: Hogwarts (Year 5 and 6)
Author's Notes: A big thank you to my beta topsyturvy who took the time out of her busy schedule to proofread this behemoth of a fic. And, of course, thank you to the organizers of this big bang extravaganza, without whom this wouldn't be written.

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H/D Side by Side
2nd-Sep-2011 07:17 pm (UTC)
*flails* There's going to be a sequel, right??

I really enjoyed this story! I wanted to smack Draco upside the head through most of it, which I think means he was very in character. ;) I loved that first kiss between the boys and their hilarious reactions - I laughed and laughed.

Awesome fic, bb!! :D
2nd-Sep-2011 09:51 pm (UTC)
thank you thank you thank you!! And there is definitely a sequel planned--never fear! I'm glad you liked it and thought it was in character!!
3rd-Sep-2011 02:03 pm (UTC)
Awesome fic!

I love how you kept Draco very much in character: calling Hermione "mudblood" and just being all around unpleasant. His growth was very slow and therefore believable.
I loved seeing the way you modified HBP canon while keeping all the same elements.
GAH! Just lots of love for this fic. Can't wait for the sequel.
3rd-Sep-2011 06:49 pm (UTC)
oh thank you so much!! It was really important to me to keep them in character, so i'm glad it worked for you!!!!! Thanks so much for the comment!!
3rd-Sep-2011 10:51 pm (UTC)
This was everything I ever wanted in a time-travel Draco fic...you have made me very happy indeed. :D :D :D :D

Seriously, I had *looked* for this type of plotline in a long, well-written story before and it is seriously MIA. Weird in a fandom that always seems to have everything...
4th-Sep-2011 11:59 am (UTC)
first off, your icon is unf-worthy. secondly, your comment made me very happy too! i'm glad you liked my fic! and i wrote this because seriously---why hasn't this been done before? draco as part of the trio helping out in the books instead of the enemy... it's something i've always wanted to read, so i went ahead and wrote it.

thanks for the comment!!!
(Deleted comment)
6th-Sep-2011 05:25 pm (UTC)
Yes to a sequel and i'm glad you liked it!! Thanks so much for the comment!!
7th-Sep-2011 08:16 am (UTC)
I really enjoyed this story. Draco managed to be a wanker pretty much all the way through. Even when his motives were right, he just could not keep his mouth shut...very Malfoy. I enjoyed the slow burner relationship between the boys too. That first kiss was sweet and funny and angsty all at once, lovely! I'll tell you what though, you really had me aching for the little prick, his life went so miserable there for a while. I did want to smack him upside the head though and tell him to get his head out of his arse! Glad he came around but was never less than a prat, even at the end. Very well done!
7th-Sep-2011 06:52 pm (UTC)
oh, thank you so much! i had to make draco a prick throughout the fic--i hate it when h/d stories have him turning nice too soon. i'm glad you liked it!
8th-Sep-2011 07:07 pm (UTC)
Oh yaye!!! I love when Draco is a complete nightmare but still slightly lovable... for Harry anyway. I'm very happy to see other comments that you plan to write a sequel. My only complaint wa that I really hoped we'd at least see Boone rubbing his hands together in glee or oblivious because history had changed. Anyway, I'm very much looking forward to anything else you write in this verse.
8th-Sep-2011 07:14 pm (UTC)
thanks for reading! i'm glad you liked it even if i didn't make draco the nicest person ever ;) and don't worry--i have plans for boone in the sequel :D
12th-Sep-2011 08:43 pm (UTC)
I stayed up until 3.30am reading it on a school night and have NO REGRETS! Draco, Harry and Ron were so in character, and Hermione too! I loved her attempts to get closer to Draco through homework, of course. Best time travel fic i've ever read, and as it looks like you have a sequel planned I'm over the moon :D
I really hated Lucius for how quickly he turned against his own son, I wonder if thats what he really would do? Sometimes I think yes and sometimes I think no, but really he was just in too deep and his real feelings towards his son are hard to figure out... Bellatrix was suitably crucio-happy-crazy hehe
I loved what you did with Andromeda and Ted! They would be the only ones suited to take Draco in, and I liked their relationship. They wouldn't get on at all but I think (hope) they'll get there.
Choosing Theodore to take on the role of assassin was great! No way would Voldy choose Crabbe or Goyle and as far as I know Blaise's parents stayed neutral...? Or am I mixing fanon with canon? :/ oh well back on track, it was interesting seeing how someone else went with Draco's assignment. (aw heck, I was just happy that Draco had been removed from those horrible experiences for good :D)
Now for what I really care about: You built up Harry and Draco so, so well! It was spot on with the slow pace it developed. I love H/D for the thin line it treads between love and hate. The boys have hated each other for so long that once that hatred is removed, where else do they go with all that energy and fixation but the entirely opposite end of the scale? You expressed this so believably and wonderfully!
And your writing was so great too! You had imagery and description down, those things I always seem to fail in those few times I've tried to write so I always love it when others don't fail :)
As Draco has totally lost his memories of Before, I suppose he won't get them back? So now the story can just go on as if there is no time travel element? I think I'd like that, it'd be heartbreaking for Draco to suddenly remember and then have to choose between his son and Harry :'( But you're the author, whatever you choose we trust you with!
Wow, this review was longer than I expected it to be, but thats just coz I loved it~
Thanks so so much for writing!! Can't wait for the sequel!
<3 Laura
12th-Sep-2011 09:43 pm (UTC)
thank you so, so much for this awesomely lovely review! i'm glad you liked it so much to leave such a great comment--compliments like this make me want to write the sequel as fast as possible!

i was really worried my characterization would be off--i haven't written harry/draco in so long! i'm glad it worked for you--one of my least favorite things in h/d fic is when they warm to each other too quickly. i love slow build-up, and i was worried that it was too slow, so again, i'm ecstatic you liked that bit!!

and lucius just might surprise you ;) that's all the hints i'm going to give! i need to get through my other fandom obligations so i can start with the sequel :) i have it all planned out---it's the writing of it that will be the hardest part.
13th-Sep-2011 01:39 pm (UTC) - Very interstingly handled.
Clever old you.
13th-Sep-2011 06:41 pm (UTC) - Re: Very interstingly handled.
oh thank you! i do so love being called clever, even if i don't believe i am *beams*
13th-Sep-2011 08:56 pm (UTC)
I stopped reading half way through because the main character was so obnoxious and stupid that I couldn't stand to it any more. That Draco is actually a 36 year old man made it worse. He can't be excused for youth, he's just a complete tit. I suppose this interpretation of Draco is in line with Rowling's, since she wrote all the Slytherin's as nasty, dimwitted bullies and one dimensional bad guys. It was disappointing because I've read some really interesting interpretations of Draco and the other Slytherins in other fanfics, and I was hoping for something thought provoking here. Perhaps if I had stuck it out and read more my view of the story would be different, but I couldn't manage it. I did like the first bit with the time tuner quite a bit, though.
13th-Sep-2011 09:38 pm (UTC)
um, i'm not sure i should thank you here, but you did go through the effort to make a well-thought comment, so i will definitely respond.

this is just my take on draco, which is how i've always thought him to be through the ways jk wrote him. as much as i wished that he'd been nice, he never was, and that was the whole point of his character. as a fic reader myself, i've never been one for stories where draco is nice or has a hidden depth of gryffindor. to me, he's always been a self-serving prat, and i wanted to explore that part of him. i didn't want to nice him up just for the sake of it, because then i'd be creating my own draco (in my head, at least) that didn't parallel with jk's character at all. in a sense, i'd feel like i was writing gary stu slash if i didn't write draco just as i see him.

i'm sorry you didn't find my fic thought-provoking and couldn't get through it. i hope you find another story that better fits your tastes, and no hard feelings here!!
13th-Sep-2011 10:18 pm (UTC)
I really liked your commitment to the selfish and unpleasant aspects of Draco's character; I find it much more satisfying when those things are addressed than when they are ignored or excused to easily. And it's a difficult balance to achieve between his insufferable-gittiness and his not-actually-evilness. I'll certainly be looking out for your sequel!
14th-Sep-2011 08:16 am (UTC)
thank you so much! I wouldn't feel right if i wrote a fic where draco wasn't as much of a prat as i read him to be in harry potter, so i'm glad my characterization worked for you!
15th-Sep-2011 08:02 am (UTC)
Goooood, this was so good! I can't believe it!
I really wanted to hit Draco over the head (quite) a few times there, but finally, he stopped being so stubborn, yay!
I would like to tell you all the things I loves here, but it would be too long, and unnecessary, so I'll just point one thing, which really is a detail, but something that I love: I'm speaking of the expressions you changed to fit the magical world. Such as when Draco had pixies in his stomach. So cute! :) There were a few others, but that one really stuck!

I have got to say I am surprised to tell you that when I got to "The End" I was so sad the story was already (hum hum, you know what I mean, right?) finished, because I WANT TO READ ABOUT THE SEVENTH YEAR! ... With shenanigans going on in the tent, possibly? :p
And then, I saw in some of your answers to other reviews that you planned writing a sequel so I am happy, and I'll wait (im)patiently!

Bravo on this, really. It was awesome
15th-Sep-2011 12:04 pm (UTC)
thanks for this lovely, lovely comment!!! It made me smile so hard :) i'm glad you like me changing up some common phrases to work in the wizarding world--i was afraid they'd come off trite or stupid.

And yup, sequel is definitely planned and will probs only be posted on my personal lj but not for a while yet! But comments like this make me want to sit and write and write and write:) and yes, definite tent shenanigans planned.
1st-Oct-2011 07:49 pm (UTC)
Wow, just finished this fic and I absolutely adored it! I love the way you managed to keep Draco so in character, still a prat even as he got together with Harry!

And yay for sequal, I shall await with eager anticipation!
2nd-Oct-2011 02:00 pm (UTC)
ooh, thank you so much for reading, bb!!!! i'm glad you liked my characterization of draco---i know that some people aren't too keen on him being as mean in fics as he comes across in the books!
2nd-Oct-2011 12:01 pm (UTC)
I just finished this fic and I have to say I really enjoyed it. It was really interesting to see that Draco was slowly losing his memories of his previous life. Great job!
2nd-Oct-2011 02:00 pm (UTC)
thank you lots!! i'm really glad you liked it :)
10th-Oct-2011 11:55 pm (UTC)
I don't even know where to start with this comment because everything in this fic was so well done. I loved the time-travel element showing how Draco had never really resolved his terror and dislike for violence he experienced with the Death Eaters with the beliefs he'd grown up with. It's rare in fanfic to see Draco still as a stuck-up, supremacist prick as an adult, but it ring true to canon. Your whole story, from crazy Boone's time travel to the individual characterizations of Draco, Harry, Hermione, everyone, plus the slow development of Harry and Draco's relationship and Draco's development as a person are very canonical, and you had me at several points wanting to look up what was actually written in the books vs what you wrote. It's fantastic overall, and I'm glad to see you'll be continuing it with a sequel. Oh, and I was particularly taken with how Draco slowly forgot things from his previous life, and eventually lost touch with what he even meant by 'Before!'
11th-Oct-2011 06:03 am (UTC)
*blushes* thank you so much! i'm delighted to hear that you liked my canonical take on draco--some people don't like it when authors don't explore a hidden smushy side of his personality, but since i've never been able to read him as anything more than a giant jerk, i knew that's how i had to write him. it was a challenge for me to keep him in character as possible while still falling for harry. and at the same time, working through him losing his memories--i never knew if i was quite doing it right, or making things believable, so it's awesome to see that that worked for you.

thanks for reading and for the glorious comment, bb!
13th-Oct-2011 08:22 pm (UTC)
Fracking Hell!! You can't leave it there! So glad you plan a sequel. I need to know how you will reconcile this with that damned epilogue.

Seriously, I love this! Draco was in character and so darn maddening at times. He's such an arrogant git. His growth was ever so slow and it took him longer than I would have thought to come to his senses. And that slow-burn......scorching hot UST that brought them together was perfect. The plot was unique and the writing was gorgeous. Much love for this! Fantastic job!

13th-Oct-2011 09:11 pm (UTC)
ahahah i'm evil ;) but thank you so much for reading! i will definitely be fixing the epilogue to my liking when i write the sequel.

glad you liked the ust!!!!! it's my favorite thing to read but it was surprisingly hard to write :)
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